Coxswains lie.

Regularly.

“You are almost there!”

“Another Power 10 and we will catch up to the other boat!”

“You’ve got this!”

“We are going to pass them!”

ROW’s best coxes, Monica & Kendra & Barb & Lindsey, all lie to us regularly. That’s what they do to get the most out of a practice or a race, to help motivate us to try harder, to help us push beyond wanting to quit and go home during a race. I’m often at the other end of the boat from them in the bow or #2 seat and so I see things a little differently sometimes. I can see when the whole team is losing its spunk or that we really are not on the seat of the cox of the boat we are trying to pass. But I also see how those words can spur a boat on and motivate the rowers to try harder, to dig deeper, to help us surge ahead and get a little closer to reaching our goals. The words of the coxswains help us visualize an outcome we may not even have considered.

I’m lying to myself a little tonight in order to push on. I had an EKG on Thursday that was abnormal. I had a follow up EKG and stress test this morning where the EKG was normal, but the stress test was not. Not sure yet what that abnormality is–the promised results haven’t yet been delivered–but until I know what the results and next steps are, I’m trying to live in a fog of denial. I’m scared, but there is a yelling coxswain in my ear reminding me that “You’ve got this!”; “Focus”; and “On my call, start a Power 10!”

I hope everyone is able to dig deep going through hard times–and find some hopefulness even when things are looking a tad rocky.