Hello from NOLA!

My last day of the 2024-5 school year was last Tuesday and Terry and I are kicking off my summer break–and Terry being done with prostate cancer treatment–with a quick visit to New Orleans. Terry and I lived here from 2009-2014, but we have only been back once, for a quick Jazz Fest trip two years ago, and so this trip is very much feeling like a homecoming in a multitude of ways. I’ve been a bit surprised, actually, with all of the feels I’ve been experiencing this week–well, this past month or so, actually. The magnitude of all that’s been going on in my world this past year or so, and the fortitude I’ve had to tap in to to get here, has really been hitting home.

A quick aside, according to Webster’s there are 13 ‘common’ words in English ending with ‘TUDE’ , 74 words in all. I am trying to include as many of them in this post as I can. The fact that I even have the mental and emotional bandwidth and the actual time to create a dorky etude, a study, of an extremely difficult time in my life, that has a lighter touch and hopefully a more playful attitude, where I can actually make this writing into a bit of a word puzzle, is HUGE!!!!! Let me know how many ‘tudes you find! 😉

So, let’s review.

This June 2025 , I am tired after a crazy school year. Like intense kind of year. However, this disquietude and lassitude seem manageable in comparison to last year. I’m no longer in the midst of the storm, frankly, and can look at the whole situation from a different perspective, from a different altitude. This feeling may not last for long, but I really feel that I need to highlight this period of time, regardless. Just like I am grateful to photos for helping me document my life, I am also grateful for these posts acting as latitude and longitude markers along the journey these past 12 years. I’ve been posting on Searching for EMWA for 12 years???? Crazy.

I started the 2024-5 school year 3 weeks into the first semester at a new (for me) rather overcrowded, but energetic and vibrant, Chicago high school, that is located almost in Indiana. I had 3 classes of 9th graders whose amplitude/level of high energy and general loudness was often off the charts during the school day (while my 2 classes of juniors were like slugs tied to their phones in a state of torpitude–one of the archaic ‘tudes) and I frequently went home a little weary. Nothing too egregious and I actually found the majority of my freshmen to be fun and engaging, especially while teaching them Civics during a time like the present, but it could be a lot.

The real challenge was that I did not have a laid back, peaceful, and restful environment when I got home. Instead, I went home to care for a husband who was also in a severe state of torpitude thanks to his prostate cancer treatment which left him in pain and extremely sluggish, torpid, and lacking almost any kind of energy or vigor for nearly 6 months. Terry started a hormone treatment trial in late November 2024 that included blocking his testosterone with Lupron shots–a treatment protocol that was NOT supposed to be incapacitating. Unfortunately, the oncology team was wrong, Terry was supposedly an outlier, and the impact of the treatment on Terry was very intense–especially in the middle of a dreary Chicago winter. This put the whole “in sickness and in health” part of our marriage vows to a major test. I felt like I was in a new fangled 21st century form of servitude. I may have an aptitude for caregiving, but I really felt trapped by Terry’s cancer treatment, where his needs took a priority over everything else and that the situation would never improve. The isolation was not fun and the infinitude of it all was really, really tough to deal with. It was up to me to basically carry all of the household responsibilities and I felt extremely constrained and exhausted by my caregiving responsibilities. You know it was bad when walking Bleu and going grocery shopping was my ‘me’ time!

On top of that, my mom had a snag with her health at the start of the year, where her immune system was compromised by her chemotherapy treatment and an infection caused by a pulled tooth in October led to a full blown jaw infection in January. The infection was so bad that she was hospitalized and then had to go through 5 weeks of 3-hour long at-home antibiotic infusion treatments. It was crazy! I made the trek into Michigan to help out or visit at least 6 weekends from January to April and needless to say, I was torn as to where I should be–helping out the rock star care team duo of my sister and niece who were helping my dad care for my mom in Michigan or remain in Chicago to take care of Terry? The vicissitude of it all, being pulled in so many ways, was really one for the books!

However, a funny thing happened. Spring came. Mom beat her infection and was even healthy enough to trek up to her grandson’s graduation at Northern Michigan University in Michigan’s Upper Peninsula at the beginning of May. Terry stopped his trial early, after 3 months, had his prostate surgery in late March and gradually, little by little, he started to heal and become active again. He’s not back to 100%, but he is getting stronger everyday. Case in point: he was up to driving to Michigan for Memorial Day weekend last month, but I drove both ways and he slept a lot of the trip. 3 weeks later with this trip to NOLA, he drove almost half the way, didn’t sleep that much on the drive, and went out in the evening with friends the first night, while I stayed in to crash out! The part that makes all of the struggle worth it, though, is that between the drugs and the surgery, Terry is currently cancer free and will not need to have further treatment at this time!!!! Woo hoo!!! While one thing I have learned during my years of being a part of the breast cancer community is that there really isn’t a guarantee that the cancer won’t come back or that there is a finitude to being cancer free; for now, he is all good and we will take it!!!!

What has really surprised me, is that I can say with certitude and exactitude, that how I’m feeling about the trials and vicissitudes of this year is far different from how I was feeling about life at this time of year in 2024, when my life literally felt like it was going off the rails. I’ve actually been feeling almost PTSD, where I’m looking over my shoulder, wondering when the next crisis is going to happen.

Last year, by the 3rd week of June 2024, my mom had had multiple hospital stays and endoscopic procedures to try to figure out what was causing issues related to her pancreas; been resuscitated after cardiac arrest and had a pacemaker implanted; and had been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer the week after Memorial Day, starting chemotherapy on June 21, 2024. The same week that my mom found out she had cancer, Terry finally went in for a physical and had a suspicious PSA reading (53 when the reading 7 years earlier had been 1.7), indicating there might be something wrong with his prostate. While there was plenty of latitude that the situation could be benign, there was also plenty of concern that it could be really bad. Meanwhile, my car was totaled in late April, when another car hit me on I-94 while Bleu and I were driving through Kalamazoo, Michigan on the way to visit my family and by June, the car that I bought as a replacement was already having issues. I had been experiencing a lot of turmoil and unpleasantness at work throughout the school year, but I was still thrown for a loop when I found out that I was being let go from my school of 5 years the same week that my mom was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. Sorry, there was a moral turpitude about it. Instead of focusing my energy on Terry or my mom or recuperating from the insanity of the 2023-24 school year, I was on the job hunt as well as trying to do everything else. Talk about being spread thin!!!!

Despite it all, we did try to make the best out of things!

Longitudinally, over the course of the past two years, life has been a lot. But this trip to NOLA has been good for my soul.

When I started this blog piece, I realized that this trip to NOLA was going to include not only eating yummy food at our favorite places (Katie’s, Atchafalaya, Elizabeth’s, Parkway, The Joint) and being back in one of my favorite cities, I was also going to get some much needed solitude while Terry was hanging out with old friends, some ‘me’ time to decompress, and that I would finally have some time to write! Woo hoo!!!

We even got to celebrate Juneteenth a bit at the New Orleans African American Museum and see the new permanent exhibit Ancestral Odyssey, as well as meet the artist, Vince Fraser, who was in town from London.

On a broader scale, though, I also realized that after all that I’ve been through the past couple of years, right now, in this brief window of time, I’m actually ok—and considering where I have been, that is HUGE!

Because of this and all of the people who helped me get through to here, I am also feeling overwhelmingly grateful. So, besides documenting my journey and updating people on what is going on, I also want to recognize some people with some heartfelt appreciation. Hopefully this won’t come off as just a bunch of platitudes! 🙂

Here we go…

Gratitude.

While I was in the midst of these troubles these past nearly two years, it has been hard to recognize and show appreciation for so many fantabulous people that have had a positive impact on my life. I want to thank my former work colleagues Elizabeth D and Talisa EH for having my back during the 2023-24 school year when everything was either going sideways or falling to pieces. Shared lunches and planning periods, chaperoning proms and trips to Six Flags, department and staff meeting bonding, and simply having shared that leg of our life journeys, means a ton! You both are irreplaceable and fabulous and deeply missed in my everyday life!

Speaking of rock star work colleagues, I want to thank Tynese OS for being such a blessing this year at GWHS and as a neighbor. I have never treaded through a situation quite like I did this year at a new school, on top of all that I was dealing with on the home front, and I am so glad we were able to carpool and bond like we did. You are an amazing sounding board and friend and I will forever be grateful that you happened to be assigned to the same school I was two years in a row. I already miss you tons!

Ker, I can’t believe we have been friends for over 35 years now. Yikes! Thank you for all of the phone conversations, keeping me company while I’m driving to my parents, help with my car problems last summer, being there for Barb, and general moral support these past two years. It’s meant a ton! It was also a blast to follow your campaign! I know it didn’t turn the way we would have liked, but I am so impressed with you!!!! I also know we have been trying to connect the past couple of months and keep missing one another, but we definitely have to do so soon! I think we should coordinate a visit during that call, too. 🙂

I would like to thank again ALL of the people who reached out in September, through calls, texts, emails, Messenger and FB, after I wrote Navigating the Doldrums! The outpouring of love and support from my ROW sisters, family, friends, former colleagues and even former students was awesome!!!!! Maybe I’ll have some time this summer to finally take people up on their offers of hanging out! If nothing more, I hope to have the headspace to reach out this summer. Fingers crossed!

Thank you, Julie, for the beautiful earrings! You are the best!!!!!

Grace, Tina, Carol, Vinni, and Frana, if you have a chance, please read/re-read my post The Winds of Change Blowing In? Y’all are the best extended family I could ever ask for!!!!!

A special shoutout to the fabulous Peg, who has kept me company on many a Sunday morning walk while she is driving to work, as well as to the fantastic Jen D, who also helped me problem solve my dramas going on last year while I was walking Bleu. Props go to my former colleague/awesome friend, Emilee, who has also kept me company on many a weekend walk and was such a wonderful host last month during a visit to Columbus. Thank you to all 3 of you for allowing me to vent during those invaluable calls!!!

A special thank you to my beautiful Caribbean sister, Marcella, who if I’m not available when she calls, will leave these lovely lilting messages for me to listen to–and has been posting these soothing and inspiring reels on Insta & FB of her morning walks, that are such a great way to start the day!

And speaking of phone calls. Thank you to my dear SIL (Sister in Love) Nicole for always being there for me to talk to and being there for your brother. You are fantabulous!!!!!

Karen, Patti, and Jenny, thank you for including me in your Chicago weekend back in November! The timing was perfect and it was so awesome to see y’all!!!

Kel, you know how much you mean to me and how much I value your friendship. Girl, I’ve got your back and I’m always sending big hugs your way!!!! Marilyn, thank you always for being such a terrific cousin and for all of your wonderful support over the years!!!!! Thank you both for always reading my posts!!!!

Thank you to our wonderful neighbors, James and Sarah, for the wonderful meals. How cool is it to have neighbors with a wood burning stove, who love to bake pizzas and share?!

And finally, a special thank you to Rebecca M for hanging out with me Saturday morning. I love friendships where we can just pick up where we left off during our last visit! You are exactly who I needed to see this weekend! The big question is whether our next meetup will be in Chicago or NOLA?

We are safely back in Chicago and wow, there sure is a lot going on in the world! I am so glad I was able to claim this much needed respite in the midst of everything. Thank you for being you and reading this piece all the way to the end.

And, how about those words ending with ‘tude? Any word counts? Let me know your guess in the comments.

Wishing y’all a great week!

JoAnn